Sunday, February 13, 2011


School. Work. Homework.
School. Work. Homework.
School. Work. Homework.

Its all I do. Its all Im made to do. I feel like it will continue for the rest of my life.

School. Work. Homework.

I need a vacation. Not just a week away, spending my time in the sun or enjoying a good book with some orange juice and fast food, not a week in the mountains with clear skies and adventures beyond every tree.

I need a true and long and glorious vacation.

What I mean is, I need a new life. I need time to explore a new city and make new friends, find a new job and attend a new school, where hopefully for a long time it will feel like a vacation from now rather than School. Work. Homework...

For those of you who have spent your life sedimentary in one place. Living in the same house you were born in or knowing the same people you've known since kindergarten... good for you. But Im not built that way. I cant live that way.

For the majority of my conscious life Ive moved on average every four years. I meet new people. I explore new places, find new interests... and then I move on. Ive kept a few friends, the good ones, the ones that matter, from each place, but for the rest of it I put it in a box labeled: Last Adventure... and I move on.

Colorado Springs. I loved living in you. I loved the places and the mountains and the adventures Ive had, but I cant stand you any more. You're turning into a bad rash that no matter how much I itch never seems to have any relief. Please, understand that as much as you've helped me, and many doors that you opened for me... I already consider you as something of the past.

And yet Im still here.

And its not going away.

School. Work. Homework.

I need to move on.

Friday, January 7, 2011


I was asked once, in the heat of a debate with a large group of people, what do I think freedom is.

I gave my answer, clearly and honestly and without any hesitation. I believe freedom is the right to free speech, to own land, to bear arms, and to vote without others knowing who Ive voted for.

I was told, after that statement, that I was being too literal, reading it right out of a book, not being sincere, a mere regurgitation of what I'd heard before.

Maybe if I had been more eloquent about my words and said: "My freedom is to be able to purchase any kind of jam or jelly I want, and be offered as many as I want," than maybe they would've listened to me. But I'm saying it now, in whatever words I want.

My freedom is to speak my mind and have no concerns about the safety of myself or my family. To make friends with whomever I chose and have no need to worry about political or religious orientations. To have a free market where if I have the money and wish to purchase something, I may do so without my governments consent, and if I so chose to own a legal weapon for the safety of my family and myself. And the freedom to love whom I wish how I wish and have as many children (or the lack there of) as I wish.

I don't understand why I was chastised for my views on freedom, but I do know this, if anyone ever attempts to take them away from me, I will fight, and it will be a fight to recon with.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Old Past Dies Hard

Facebook is, in short, amazing. It lets you meet people you know in person and maybe get to know them.

What it really does; however, is allow you to pretend you're friends with a lot of people and slowly but surely lose contact with people who probably could have been life long friends, over a short period of time.

Today I spent a while looking at pictures of people I knew from school. People I liked and talked to every day, but never got around to knowing. I was always that one girl that was nice, gave some sound advise, but never really entered into their life's problems.

Was that what I wanted? To be a shadow. In truth, I think so. I dont like drama. I find it stupid, time wasting, and infuriating. Over the course of my life Ive learned a little about human folly and the innate sense of self importants in all issues. Of course this applies to me as well, but in friendship I always try to turn it around.

They tell you to pick your friends carefully, and I find that lesson the hardest to learn. The people who I could've been friends with, could've gotten to know, were my closest friends, and now a distant memory.

Its my own fault.

But in some odd way, I feel relieved.